Yay. I changed the layout. Credit goes to createblog.com. Ack, I'm was so tired of the previous boring layout. Anyway. New layout @ DI, and also @ DI portfolio. Oh, and Yasashii too. Layout changes' time =p

I'm thinking wether or not to make this blog Friends Only. *wanders walking away*

T_T I feel like I'm suddenly a magnet, actracting whatnot. Don't get me wrong. It's something I don't really want - though I will want it - and something random. I'm not making sense so ignore me. I'm referring to males ofcourse XD

" TWO TENDER THOUGHTS AND THE FIRE "

" Why would I do this to my own self?
How would I do this to my own self?
How could I do this to my own self?
Why could I do this to my ownself?

I've lost someone I miss terribly
I was on my way knowing someone like me
The the impact burned; patience will dissappeare?
It can't, sacrifice a tear;

Is she better this way?
Is she better this way?

I don't lust the warmth.

I'll tell myself to ignore the warmth
Every minute, every second, every hour, everyday;
Otherwise I'll burn myself and I'll know I'm the one to blame
I'll scream, yell & shout mentally
I must; Let noone see me;

I don't want to betray myself .. why could I?
I want him

"bolden the wall between the two ..." feels awkward thy written - why & how?
- thy melody seems so emotionless now;"

I desire more than advisery
I'm not a student (in need of help) so don't teach me!
I know enough for my well being
I'm older than my self-seeing;

I've received my wish
For a year - now it's gone
I was on my way knowing him
- see there's simplicity between -

Still, hope lingered in my heart
Then fire burned
The hope shattered, into nothingness turned
I've fallen in my own trap - the smallest gap - what have I got? "

People say I write TOO DEEP things. And that they don't really understand it. Okay, this prolly isn't that way. My mood changes every second - so does my style, vocabulary, spirit, opinion, wishes, aspirations, etc.; for 'deep' poetry, check my site out.

http://rose.eternal-calm.net [directly to the poetry section:] http://rose.eternal-calm.net/creative/poetry.htm - choose and read =3 Just flame/insult me once and you'll permanently be on a blacklist ~.~

Anyway, the 'fansite' [below entry] is: Kurama x Botan. I'll give a link when it's up - which will be later sometime. A preview can be seen here http://geocities.com/silenceofadream/

Note: the above poetry -- two tender thoughts. [#1 tender thought - him, #2 tender thought - my best friend {"is she better this way?"}].

Ahck! I want to make a fansite *cries*. But to WHOM ? Yeah, I have a couple shrine.. well, that might do. But still, maybe an actress/singer or character ? Meow dammit. Where will I get an idea. *babbles random ramblings*

I've woken now to find myself with no homework. I mean, there are 3 more days, and I'm zero! I always do this. End up doing the homework just about in the last day[s]. From the two books I have to read [warning: hungarian -.-], which is:

#1 - Koszivu ember fiai. #2 - Legy jo mindhalalig.

God. I have to read, learn/study (on) hungarian. Talk on romanian [offline]. Talk/write on english [online]. And curse on japanese. Oh, and a few more german, spanish, french and latin as well. No wonder sometimes my tongue gets 'cornered' and I end up saying sentences like..
" Hova mergi you aora? "
[ hu + ro + en + sp ]

Imagine that, I speak 4 languages in just ONCE sentence.
Oh well.
Hopefully, I'll finish Precious Moments, since it's a heck of a headache. And then.. waiting for the K x B fl.. ahh. If I don't get it, I'll just get the fix. W/e.

I guess I was kinda angry today. People know I'm a very calm person. That's only because I WANT to. Cus I WANT to be calm. And not empty my wrath on others. But when I DON'T WANT to, I don't. But I still don't go raging on anyone/everyone. Instead, well.. that's how I get vulnerable. When I'm depending on something. And that something isn't OK.. or.. away or w/e. And then, I close myself [lie in my room]. That's the most beautiful part.
I like doing that. Since my room's curtains are very handy, and they're green, the whole room gets green. And it makes it a pleasant place. Comforting. The soft brightness from outside shines through the slight wholes of the curtains - through the whole room, right on my bed. On my face. In front of me. It's just so comforting.
And at night.. when cars pass by.. ; I always 'disable' the curtains, so that I can see everything outside. And when the cars pass by, the rough sounds tickle my ears. Their lights dance on my walls. Like a movie. Soft shadows. Blah, I can't express myself.

I really want to start writing that story sometime, but.. I never really have the time. The ideas flow, there's inspiration, creativity.. I just need time, my mind and silence. That I don't really have ..

~ Deadly Rose

You're the shy and quiet girl. You like letting
other people talk, and are afraid of saying
something embarassing. You probably have a
couple of people in your life that you are very
close to and completely honest with, but
otherwise you like to keep to yourself.


What's Kind Of Girl Are You?
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You live for no reason....maybe something will
happen to save your soul. But as of right now
you have NOTHING to live for. I'm suprised
you're still alive to take this quiz.


What's keeping you from suicide?
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Love is very important to you.


What's most important to you?
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Maybe you should spend a lil more time with others
and make some friends? Or maybe you just like
being friends with yourself......cuz you
know....that's tastey


What's my personality?
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You're friends think you're hyper, fun, and crazy
but that's why you're a people magnet, but some
might think you're just having mood swings a
lot but actually your mood changes by what's
going on. If you start to get bored you get
really hyper so people will join in and have
fun with you. But if people take it too far
then you get angry or upset to let them know
that it's enough. However people understand and
they'll just try to get you cheery again.


What's on your mind that people can't tell?? (girls)
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LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! That's what people think
you are thinking... a loner. A true loner. Yay
for you. You don't depend on anyone and you
don't like people. Neither do I.


What's People's First Impression Of You?
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now and forever -kc and jojo
Perfect relationship, but don't get too serious!


What's the song of your relationship?
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I was surfing RoseWhip.net, and took a quiz listed there. Would Kurama love me? With my ways *blush* XD ..


Yay for you, the sweet, smart, mysterious, kitsune
Kurama loves you! This dead sexy fox boy will
always be there to protect you, no matter what,
because he loves you with all his heart. He
will treat you like his princess and he is
extremely romantic. Awww.


So, would Kurama love you? (now w/ pictures. Yay!)
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*snickers* I love fan fiction. Praise the one who first found out about fics XD.

Enough with the babbling. I'm getting slowly Yasashii [the shrine and community] on the edge. I mean, I'm actually getting visitors o.O I usualy don't. No matter what site it is that I made *sigh*. I could have a hired *INSERT NAME HERE*, who visits all of my sites. And signs the guestbook. Ah yes, the guestbooks @.@ *acts weird*

I've got the music on Yasashii, like, Botan's Theme, Kurama's, Embracing the Ice Knife & Romantic Soldier/Red Rose in The Darkness. Wanna download? Clickie ^^; http://xthost.info/deadlyrose/

Teaser :D http://deadlyrose109.tripod.com/botan_theme.zip

*snickers* What's with all these snickers you ask? I don't know. Ask my sub-consious, but I doubt you'll get any answers. Instead, this is how I snicker :D [squirms 4 Shigure XD]

You are Hiei. Depending on the person, you are
either someone to be feared, someone to fight,
or someone to drool over... from afar.
Externally, you have an aloof demeanor and you
can be very agressive. But your tough attitude
is just for show - you care deeply for someone,
and you'll do anything to keep them safe. You
prefer solitude over the company of others, but
the few friends that you have and the strong
friendship that has formed is what helped to
change your life.


Yuu Yuu Hakusho Character Personality Quiz
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